I LoveHate You
by Celandrea
Summary: What happens when the clock strikes 13 before Sarah can remember her words? Offering to take her brother’s place, Sarah and Jareth are faced with a new dilemma in which they must discover which is stronger: their love or their hate. Not a happy ending fic


A/N: I own nothing. Just borrowing them for a bit.

I Love/Hate You

Her mind raced, desperately trying to recall the simple words that she had said hundreds of times before. Why was it so hard now? Just a few words, nothing special. Just a few words…

Sarah heard the clock chime like a death knell.

"No!" she cried as a triumphant smile curved Jareth's lips. Around them the world began to fall. Amidst the chaos Jareth stood tall, unperturbed by the destruction.

"I win," he murmured as his smile grew into a wide grin.

_Toby_, Sarah thought anguished. _I've failed him again._

"Come now, Sarah," Jareth said as he moved towards her, "It's not so bad. Go back to your life, live you little dreams and forget about the baby."

"I can't. Please don't take him," Sarah tried, knowing even as she spoke it was a futile effort.

"Fair is fair," Jareth scolded. "You challenged me and lost. The baby is mine."

"You have no need for more goblins."

"That, my dear Sarah, is hardly the point."

"I hate you," she whispered, feeling powerless.

Jareth regarded her silently for a moment before replying, "The feeling, I'm sure, is mutual."

Sarah gritted her teeth, unsure why his words caused her heart to clench. She looked up at the man standing before her, watching her with emotionless eyes. How could he stand there, so cool and collected, as her very world was ripped apart? Watching him Sarah knew she'd do anything to keep her brother out of his hands.

"I challenged you and lost. So now you need a prize, right? Someone to become another of your goblins so you can gloat over them forever, savoring your victory," she spat, glaring at him.

"Something like that," Jareth agreed.

"Then take me."

Silence rang around them. Sarah met his eyes bravely as she stood before him, defeated but still defiant. She might agree to stay here, to play the slave for him, but she would never yield. She would never give in to him.

"You, Sarah? Playing hero again?" Jareth said finally. "This is not one of your fairytales where everything turns out as you wish it too. There is no happily ever after here."

"I know that. I'm not playing at anything. You require someone to stay here so let it be me. All this is my fault so it should be me who pays the price. Let my brother go."

"And if I accepted your proposal?" he asked softly, stepping closer. "You'd consent to become a goblin? A mindless little creature with no memories, no dreams?"

"Yes," she whispered before she could change her mind.

"Agreed," Jareth said. He clapped his hands and light flashed around them. When the flare dimmed Sarah saw everything was frozen. Huge chucks of stone hung suspended in the sky. Uneasily she turned her gaze back to the goblin king.

"Where is Toby?"

"In his room, sleeping the sleep of the annoyingly innocent."

"Good," she nodded sadly, feeling a weight lifted from her shoulders. "Then everything is as it should be."

"Indeed," Jareth moved closer to her, his eyes hooded.

"Going to turn me into a goblin now?" she asked softly.

"I should. You will cause me much less trouble as a goblin than as a girl."

A little smile twisted her lips, "Can't argue with that."

"Scared, Sarah?"

"Of what? Becoming a goblin under your control forever? Nah, nothing to be afraid of," she tried to joke. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched him. Nothing in his eyes gave her a hint about what he was thinking. He was simply the beautiful, terrifying man she had tried so hard to overcome.

"If you could have anything, Sarah, what would you wish?"

His softly spoken question caught her by surprise. "Anything?" she murmured. Sarah opened her mouth to reply and found she had no answer. What did she want? To go home, right? Of course that was the answer but she glanced up at him saw uncertainty flicker in his eyes as he watched her. Could it be that she confused him as much as he did her? She was startled by the thought. For a moment, as she stared at him, he wasn't the goblin king who had tricked her and she wasn't the mortal girl who had challenged him. Just for a second she looked at him and saw Jareth. He was man who had sung to her so beautifully at the ball. The man who had held her so gently, as if she was something infinitely precious to him. Did she really want to leave him and return home where there was no magic, no dreams? She'd never fight with him again, never challenge him, never hold him…Did she want to go back to a life without him?

That thought scared her more than the idea of becoming a goblin and Sarah was not a girl that enjoyed being afraid. So instead of allowing him to see her confusion she hid it behind her anger. This was the man that had taken her brother. He had threatened and bullied her, tricking her at every turn. He was not some Prince Charming; he was the beast of the fairytale. And right now she wanted to hurt him. Hurt him for taking her brother, for forcing her to run the labyrinth, and for making she feel so torn over him with her conflicted feelings. She wanted to see some emotion other than that little mocking smile on his face, even if it was anger.

Tossing back her hair she lifted her chin and said, "I wish I could go home with Toby and never see you again. That's what I wish."

A smile twisted Jareth's lips but it wasn't his usual smile. It wasn't teasing or superior instead it was more self-mocking…self-loathing. "Yes," he agreed, "What else would you wish? I should have known the answer before I asked the question."

This new, saddened Jareth caught Sarah off guard. This was not the reaction she had expected. She wanted to ask why he seemed so defeated but couldn't form the words. It was all she could do not to reach out and touch him.

"Well," Jareth said, shaking his head, "no matter."

"Yes, my wishes don't mean anything to you. So get this over with. Change me into a goblin."

Jareth cocked his head to one side and nodded. "You are right. Perhaps it is time to bring our game to its end." He crossed the last little distance between them and Sarah closed her eyes. She had never thought herself a coward but couldn't watch him change her. She didn't want the last thing she ever saw with human eyes to be his cruel smile of triumph.

She could feel Jareth standing close to her, not moving just watching. Trying to control her panic she waited, wondering what he was doing. However, it was not transforming magic that came out of the darkness but the goblin king's kiss.

It was not a fumbling kiss of the boys her age but skilled, passionate kiss unlike any she had ever received. For a moment she just stood frozen, unsure of how to react. One arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. Slowly, hesitantly, her arms lifted of their own accord, twining around his neck, as she returned his kiss. When he didn't push her away she pulled him closer.

_What are you doing?_ her mind screamed but Sarah ignored it, clinging to her king. Their kiss was not one of lovers, or at least not completely. Sarah felt the roughness born of the pent up anger and frustration on both their parts. Even as she opened her mouth to him she finally understood that they both felt the same rage and the passion that made their relationship so hard to bear.

When Jareth drew back she wanted to stop him, to pull him close again before hurtful, angry words could be said. It was precisely because the urge to hold him was so strong, however, that she forced her hands to drop to her sides.

Jareth raised a hand and gently touched her face. "How you turn my world," he whispered, more to himself than to her. "I cannot cage you, Sarah, much as I wish I could. I wish with all my heart I could be the cold, cruel goblin king you believe me to be. Perhaps in this last deed I can finally live up to your expectations." With a last lingering touch he stepped back. "I cannot cage you, but I can grant you your wish. I hope it makes you as unhappy as it will make me, Sarah. Live with the knowledge of what your words have cost us both."

Before she could say a word he snapped his fingers and the world twisted around her.

"Jareth!" she screamed as she fell back through time and space.

Sarah landed softly on her bed, back in her own home. Looking around her she couldn't believe her eyes. Everything was as she'd left it. It seemed wrong, somehow, that her life could have changed so drastically and yet there was no evidence of it. She sat in the room of a girl who no longer existed. This place belonged to a girl who had never run the labyrinth. A girl who was selfish and spoiled, believing the world should be a fair place, not the painful one she now knew it to be. She could never be that girl again and it was all because of one man. She couldn't believe he'd freed her, sent her home. But if she was here…

"Toby," she whispered in horror.

Jumping from the bed she raced to Toby's room and threw open the door in panic. In the center of the dark room stood the crib. Slowly she approached it, afraid to find a goblin in her brother's place. Reaching out she drew back the blanket.

Her baby brother lay exactly as Jareth had promised, asleep and blissfully unaware of the drama they'd survived. Sarah sagged against the crib, her body feeling too limp to support her. Jareth had told her the truth. He had won yet hadn't claimed either of them. Why had he let them go? Why hadn't he kept her with him?

She turned, heading blindly from the room; needing to be away from anything that reminded her of the Labyrinth. Sarah made it as far as the doorway when pain ripped her chest. She clutched the doorframe, turning to look back at her sleeping brother. She felt wetness on her face and reached up to touch the tears that left glistening tracks on her cheeks. Amazed she stared at her wet fingertips, shaking.

"Why am I crying?" she asked herself. "I got what I wanted. I'm home, Toby's home, we're safe. So why am I crying?"

She stared into the dark room as the tears streamed down her face. They came faster and she gripped the doorframe as she cried, not even fully understanding why she was feeling such pain. Choking on sobs she slowly crumpled to the floor, her nails digging into the carpet as she cried harder.

"Stop it, Sarah," she gasped, squeezing her eyes shut. "I got what I wanted. Why am I crying?"

She reached a trembling hand to her lips, remembering how it had felt to finally hold Jareth in her arms. Memories of the man with mismatched eyes danced in her head. He was a cruel king, selfish and deceitful. She was glad to be home. Home in this quiet, lonely house. Home in a place where she had never felt accepted. Home in a world that didn't believe in magic or goblins. She was glad to be back where there was no laughing king to tease her, to trick her, to sing to her. She was glad.

"I'm glad I made my wish," she cried, hitting the floor. "So why am I crying? Why am I crying?"

But there was no reply. The only sounds in the empty house were the heartbroken sobs of a foolish girl and the blissful sighs of a sleeping baby.

end


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